would I have chosen a different path?

Nothing much happened today... one common theme was that pagi2 I was mengantuk and tadi lepas berbuka pun mengantuk. Huarghhhhh...

Told Mama that I won't be fasting tomorrow... my *best friend* came right bang on schedule.
"Sekarang dah selalu?" she asked.
"Ye lah... dah operate" I replied.

For years my menses have been extremely irregular. There was a period (pardon the pun) when I went a whole year without any. Tak payah kira lah berapa kali I dapat puasa penuh. It was so infrequent that bila kena pergi beli sanitary pad I'm like a total novice... not sure which brand, which length, which shape. Sedangkan orang lain just go to aisle, pick their favourite and go. I'll spend at least 5 minutes nak pilih mana satu.

Dulu selalu kena marah dengan NSY for not going for check-up. I didn't think that it was that unusual coz my mom pun kata hers wasn't regular. So I thought that it might be hereditary. But when the gap sampai three, six months and later an entire year, I finally went for the check up.

When I first heard the doctor kata "you've got cyst"... memang my jantung dropped. Tapi nasib baik lah the ever dependable Marni helped explain things. Ye lah... kita mana reti all these medical things. And Marni is the best doctor friend that one can have because she will explain even the most complex things in layman terms. Plus she's calm, objective, compassionate... bagus sangat lah jadi doctor, tapi rugi sebab sekarang dia doctor mayat.

Quite a number of my friends are doctors... ada yang gynae, radiologist, flying doctor (that's the best!), neurologist, plastic surgeon dan mcm2 lagi. Some are now working in ER, ada yang under Medical... now that's the one yg was hardest for me to understand. Bukan semua pun medical ke? So when they explained and thanks to the popular TV show, I now have a better grasp. Kerja diorang mcm Dr House. And according to them, that's the hardest coz you have to know everything. I'm not surprised that Peah is in that line.

Last week Mama pergi her neurology check up for her facial nerve problem... such a small world, Sabine was one of the attending doctor. She's tengah understudy dgn the specialist. I've never been treated by any of my friends but some other friends pernah experience being their gynae (I wonder whether I'd have any problems with my friend seeing me *down there*).

Being a doctor was never one of the career paths that I had considered. Don't get me wrong... they have their my total respect and admiration but I don't think I would have been a good or happy doctor. I'm just not in that *mould* lah... just as I don't think that I'd be any good in marketing or as a treasury dealer. And I don't want to be in academics because I've done so many naughty things to my teachers at school... takut karma will hit me in my a**. Jadi lawyer pun was never something in the list because of what a second cousin said when I was young. It stuck with me sampai sekarang "Kalau sekali kena defend orang jahat macam mana?"

So what would be my *alternative* career? One thing that I wish I had explored further dulu was being in sciences... industrial design ke, food technology ke... now that would be interesting. Also interesting is to be in architecture, tapi I don't think I'm creative enough.

If someone had asked me 15 years ago what I'd like to do... my current job would not have been my immediate answer. Tak tahu pun pasal this line of work masa tu. It's still not easy to explain what I do to the pakciks and makciks... or those who are not in the industry. They know my organisation, of course... tapi it's always associated with $$. "Waa... ni sure banyak duit" is something that I often hear. Err... no. Yes the organisation manages lots of money but I don't get to see any of it. The closest is looking at zeros in the financial statement, haha. And since my actual job doesn't involve any dealing with money whatsoever, lagi lah payah nak explain. Hence I just explain it as doing policy, strategic plans dan mcm2 lagi... which is still not telling much.

Had I taken the other scholarship offers from Petronas, Tenaga, Telekom, Renong or JPA dulu... my career path would have been very different... very different in deed! Would I have chosen something else if we can turn back time? Nope... I'm glad fate brought me to where I am now. My job fits well with my ideals and what I desire in life.

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