korban...

It's already Thursday... today is Hari Raya. Selamat Aidil Adha semua!! :-)

Aidil Adha... aka Hari Raya Qurban. I guess the time is ripe untuk membuat pengorbanan... to let go... and start fresh...

Despite desires to leave all behind, I find myself revisiting. And each time, repeatedly, the truth stares back at me... mocking me. Although it is not direct, it's the reality on the other site that pulls out the red flag telling me stop. But still I find myself there... why am I putting myself through all these? Today for example (and on several other occasions in days past)... the tales, the images... what more do I need? Why can't I just let it go?

I suppose having suppressed such things for a long time also makes it harder to let go. Which is why when I heard this song, I smiled cynically (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqzLclWPY_w). Ooh... how this perfectly describes the quandary that I find myself in. The last verse struck the chord... it's as if the song was written with me in mind...

But things are getting better. I've stopped entertaining the thought. Nonetheless, discovering a bloom also withers me. I'm being green over matters which I can't lay claim on. Despite unearthing all those hurtful reality, I continually find myself there. Someone... anyone... get me out of this limbo!!

I guess the answer lies with me... only I can get me out... one way is through pengorbanan. Dear Lord... give me the strength...

Over the weekend I did my spring cleaning and yesterday Bita came to collect her bounty... three bags full! I korbankan things which have been used as well as fresh new items. Time to stop hoarding... Something that has not been on me this past 12 months deserves a new owner.

I almost had to korbankan my cuti on boxing day and the penultimate work day of the year... for work. Fortunately, despite all the hoopla... the getting minds together to prepare for the visit, it's postponed to 2008. Date still unknown. That project itself is not without "tearing hair out" situations. Deceived... indah khabar dari rupa... talam dua muka... hoodwinked... all those would describe the state of affairs. Nak tak nak kena step into first step (how ironic?)... before things get worse.

Already some noises from the big kahuna (over a matter which could have easily been avoided had the smart aleck described things better) last Thursday. Tak pasal2 je kena... With these latest developments, we can't leave things to chances anymore. Boss is obviously disturbed by it all. I would be too if I were in his shoes. Kesian dia... Now BB expects more. The gap between expectations and reality is like langit dgn bumi. Silap2 ada yang terkorban...


it's not everday
that i find a person quite like you
perfect every way
i finally found the nerve to confess that it's you
that i want
i don't care if i act a fool
i would damn near beg for you
put aside, all my pride
so don't keep me hanging here
cause this girl is falling stupid for you..
stupid for you..

the proper thing to do
is for me to act like a lady and wait
for you to make the first move
but i don't think you're getting the point
that it's you
that i want
i don't care if i act a fool
i would damn near beg for you
put aside, all my pride
so don't keep me waiting here
cause this girl is falling stupid for you
oh, oh stupid for you

why's it always feel like i am
chasing love when nothing's there
and here i go just making the same mistake...
i've fallen stupid for you..