I admit... sometime in mid 2007 I had hopes that come 14 February 2008 I would be spending it with someone, my first true Valentine's Day. But alas... we can only wish, but tuhan menentukan segalanya. 14 February came and went... and I didn't spend it with anyone special.
During the latter half of last year, my emotions were in turmoil. Even a trip to land far away didn't soothe my soul. But as the old adage goes... time heals everything.
Any psychiatrist would tell you that when one faces the death of a beloved, the person goes through 3 stages: shock, anger, grief. I went through sort of a pseudo death... erm, I didn't really go through shock... more of a denial. Then I did get angry with the said person (though I don't think orang tu perasan pun) and do what I usually do when I am unhappy with someone. Grief took place simultaneously. I distanced myself from the said person and observed from afar. It was difficult and heartbreaking to see kemesraan elsewhere.
Then suddenly, one day, the feeling was gone. Seeing them together no longer makes me go green with jealousy. I can be around the said person without my heart doing backflips. I can behave *normal* around this person again (I tend to be a bit giddy around someone I like, hehe). That's when I know that I've *recovered*. I had expected that the healing process would take a bit longer (given my previous track record), but hey... lagi cepat lagi bagus, kan?
This realisation hit home on the way home from work a few days back. Seperti biasa... mengharung traffic jam, radio was on, and a familiar song was heard...
Open the door and come in
I'm so glad to see you my friend
Don't know how long it has been
Having those feelings again.
And now I see that you're so happy
And ooh, it just sets me free
And I'd like to see
Us as good of friends
As we used to be
You're in love
That's the way
It should be
'Cause I want you to be happy
You're in love
And I know
That you're not in love with me
Ooh it's enough
For me to know
That you're in love
Now I'll let you go
'Cause I know
That you're in love
Sometimes you get your *signs* at the most unexpected time and place ;)
A few days back I got a gift from someone... a compilation of 365 ayat Quran and Hadith... one for each day of the year. I flicked through to the day's date... lo and behold, my lesson for the day was...
And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He as put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are signs for those who reflect ~ Al-Rum 30:21
:) That's a soothing sign.
So while my recent attempt at a relationship had failed, the hope is alive and well. But I'm not on a *searching* mode lah. Want to *relax* a bit.
Now... If only I can quash those pesky questions from well-intending uncles & aunties...
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