counting my blessings...

Last month when I received my payslip, I had a pleasant surprise. In fact, I had to look at it twice to make sure.

Due to the recent salary scheme adjustment at the organisation, those with professional qualifications get some extra monetary incentive. I had to sign up as member for the local association (never bothered all these years since I'm not a practicing professional) as it was a condition. The foreign qualification on its own is insufficient. So I did... went for the orientation with the two siblings to get my cert, paid membership fee etc. OK... I'm digressing. Back to original story...

Suffice to say that I was extremely happy with the salary adjustment. The arrears alone was sufficient to foot a substantial part of the room beautifying costs. When I went home I shared the good news with my parents. They were equally happy. They don't know exactly how much I'm earning but the increment amount was enough to make them raise their eyebrows.

It didn't register with me until my mom said it out loud. "Waa... Along, you're now earning more than what Papa did when he retired". Quite significantly more actually... after including all the allowances. Papa just smile when he heard that... "Bagus lah. They really take care of you". Actually, I've been earning more than my dad's last drawn salary since late last year, but I didn't make a big deal out of it.

But this time, it struck me. Here I am... single, not financially supporting anyone (well... paying for bills at home, kitchen money, giving my parents monthly allowance don't really classify as financial support lah. It's just part and parcel of a child's responsibility for their parents). And yet, I don't consider myself as having lots of $$ to spare. OK... let me correct that. I don't have difficulty to pay for things or finding myself counting the days to the next pay day. I live comfortably and occasionally splurge on a few luxuries. But at the same time, I don't have THAT much such that I'd drop a few k on a branded handbag, gadget ke apa. I've not lost my senses (haha... those yg ada branded handbag, don't take it to heart. What you do with your ka-ching is your right. I just don't share the passion for high end goods... a fake would do for me ;) )

And yet, my dad was able to support us empat beradik and provide us with a comfortable life. We have never went hungry. As a matter of fact, more of the opposite, which explains our XXL status, haha. We live in a nice home, had nice cars. Selalu keluar makan at nice places. Have nice things. My parents have never said no to a (reasonable) request. But then again, we didn't really ask for much lah. We went for holidays... bottom line, we had a good life. I'd say that we're among the fortunate... a middle-class family. Our home is relatively large and my parents had 3 mortgages to service. And they were able to afford all that with their combined salaries. My mom don't really earn that much. She was a teacher, trained at a maktab perguruan. Those in the field would know how much a teacher without a degree earns. Actually, now that I think of it, I have a feeling that I'm already earning more than what they both did in aggregate.

The more I thought about it, the more amazed I became. How was it possible for them to provide us with such a good life? Menakjubkan...

It came to me that my parents have always put their children's need ahead of themselves. Especially Papa. He's not really a spender (I get my habit from my mom... not sure who's worse though, hehe). He would carefully consider each purchase and would only buy things that are necessary... or if it involves his penchant for cars. He has few items that can be classified as frivolities... yang ada cuma his guitars and his long history with pelbagai jenis kereta. That was it.

I guess having grown up dalam keadaan susah trained him to be that way. Papa was an anak yatim from a very young age. He was the first in the family to have had proper education... both his elder brothers dropped out after primary school to support my arwah nenek as the bread winner. The sacrifices that they had to make. My dad miraculously even made all the way to earning a degree. I can only imagine how my arwah nenek must have felt to see her son holding that scroll. A big achievement against all odds. My two aunties did relatively well too. One can only wonder how my two uncles' lives would have turned out had they have the chance to complete their education too. They're not miskin, but bolehlah di category kan dalam golongan orang kurang berada.

My mom had a slightly better life. My atok was a guru agama... which meant that while they're weren't rich they always had people who would beri hadiah and support. My mom had many siblings and all turned out well. None of them are millionaires lah, but all have a good decent life. Unlike my dad, all of my mom's siblings completed their education. Masa tu habis sekolah rendah dah kira terror lah... and if dapat kerja jadi cikgu tu kira tabik laa. The elder ones would take responsibility over the financial support for the younger siblings. My mom often tell stories how my Ayah Ngah and Ayah Uda would pay for her education, give her pocket money. But they were in no way boleh dikira sebagai orang senang.

And now it's my generation. Compared to what my parents had to go through, ours is considered best sangat lah. And should I have the chance to have a child, he or she would be having a better life than what I had growing up. Insyaallah my siblings pun semua ok.

Last year I was at a conference and one of the topics discussed was poverty eradication. One prominent CEO shared with the meeting how the efforts of the ruling government had helped take him out of the poverty cycle by giving him the best education possible at a boarding school. Here he was... anak seorang petani, who was taken away from home to a sekolah asrama at the tender age of 13, went on to attend one of the most prestigious universities in the world and is currently at the helm of a major corporation.

In a way, my parents' life story is very much similar to that. They both went to boarding school... under the states' scholarship. My parents often recount how it felt, the experience and journey of being away from home, being around those who were better off than you, the hardship that my nenek had to go through just to make sure that my dad has the requisite kasut kulit hitam and some pocket money as she sent him off to a school in Tanjung Malim, the long lonely journey that my mom had to take on a train from Kampong Ayer Mati to Johor Bahru all on her own, them not having any money to buy even the bare necessities, paip-si-cola was the norm... gosh, compared to all that, I've living the life of a king!

Guided by their own experience, they made sure that each of us adik beradik semua pun pergi boarding school. And for their foresight, I thank them. But unlike them, when we went off to school, we had lots of things. I remember shopping for barang2 in preparation to masuk TKC. That was the first time that I really shopped! Paying fees was never an issue. Everything complete. So while I can relate to the experience of being away from home at such a tender age, my circumstances were way better compared to them.

I guess now it's my turn to pay back for all the sacrifices that they have done for me. I'd like to give them all the things that they want. Provide them with the best life possible. Mama always kata... bagi lah dia merasa, masa dulu2 hidup susah. Papa never made such request but I'm sure he has things that he wishes for.

Hopefully the next time I think about spending on that new baju or shoes, I'll ingat all these and spend it on them instead...