to be spoilt or not to be spoilt... that is the question

I shamefully admit that I have low will power. And because I also have obsessive compulsive disorder (albeit a mild version of it, hehe), I have a tendency to do *research* on things that I find intriguing, sometimes a bit too much.

So me liking House MD has led me to buying DVD of past seasons (am watching a season 1 episode as I'm writing this) and scouring the internet for news regarding the show. You know how drug addicts are always seeking to get high and want to have more and more drugs. I'm like that... always wanting to know more. Spoilers be damned... my curiosity gets the best of me. I was very interested, in particular, to know of how *something* is developing. However, in the process, other pieces of information also come to fore. Usually, they don't bother me. In fact, they make me look forward to the next episodes (which thanks to NCA, I get to watch 2 days after they are aired in the US). One news about a plot was revealed sometime back and the fans have been actively speculating. I have an interest since the plot can involve the *something* that I am interested in. Still... it was not something that I'm affected by.

However, yesterday... as I was doing my regular *check ups* (House... doctors... check ups... haha), a BIG spoiler was revealed. Actually, it's not really a spoiler if you're in the US and have watched the show that was aired the evening before. But for me, who has to wait for 2 days, it is a spoiler. And this time, it really spoilt the suspense. Having known what I know, I wish that I was did not come across that information. Discovering it on my own would have been much more satisfying and intriguing. This is what Malays say "habis stim".

Had I not known the outcome, it would have been a more suspenseful and grabbing episode. The information robbed me of that excitement and adrenalin. That's when I realise why spoilers are called such... they spoil what would otherwise be an experience, a sensation, an emotion... and that I should have exercised more restraint.

I remember several years back when I was totally unspoilt for the X-Files (in fact, I had been missing several episodes) when it was revealed that Scully was pregnant. I can still remember the feeling... "Whoa.. what?!?" It was so gripping. I think that night I had very little sleep because I needed to know what had happened, what clues did I miss along the way, what had led to that. It was frustrating at first of course, because I was caught off guard, but the experience was exhilirating.

I wish I had had that with House.

But then again, had I not known, I would have ended up feeling more intrigued and would have spent hours looking for the reasons etc. Not good when it I have to wake up the next day to go to work.

Just like reading a book... the desire to know what happens next is so overwhelming but you know that if you read the ending, it will spoil the experience. Somehow, I manage to exercise greater control with books.

I think this is the major-est spoiler for House this season. Sure... I don't know how the screenwriters and producers are going to take the storyline. But I doubt it's going to be this big. But regret is also something that I'm feeling, thus the dilemma on whether or not to continue to be spoilt or to stop from this point forward so that I can enjoy the show the way it was created and designed to be. I haven't decided.

One thing I do know, is that while I'm travelling early next month, I would not know how the final 2 episodes for the season is going to turn out. And that I'll have to wait until I'm back on Malaysian soil to know what happens and whether the *something* that I'm following is going to happen.

It's a paradox... I am so curious and yet I like to be surprised. And the two aren't mutually exclusive.

On a related note... I had posted on Facebook "I had spoilt myself on the outcome of a much favoured TV show... now I am sad... because that was a character that I really liked". That was ambiguous enough wasn't it? My statement would not have spoilt anyone, unless if the person has been naughtily succumbing to some spoilers themselves. But, got lah this one friend, who out-ed the info and in the process spoilt another friend who didn't want to know. So am I guilty? I think not... because I had exercise extra care to make sure that my statement didn't connote anything. Not my bad... but to the spoilt person, so sorry.

So let's take this theme on a broader level. Would you want to be spoilt on important things in life? eg If a friend told you that your boyfriend is about to propose to you... would you have liked that? Or would you rather experience the whole thing first hand. And how would you react to the said boyfriend when he pops the question? Would you act like you don't know? I know I'm not a good actress and therefore the euphoria would be difficult to replicate.

What other things would you not want to know about upfront? Would I prefer to be surprised or not be caught off guard? I guess it depends on what it is...

But meanwhile [BEWARE: House spoiler ahead...]



I am mourning that Kutner is dead. He's my favourite duckling... funny, smart, dorky, unconventional, fun, and he's a Harry Potter fan! I had just shared with NCA last week that I liked Kutner... even more than Chase, Cameron and Foreman. And this week he's gone.

On a happier note, I couldn't have been more impressed with Kal Penn and his reasons for leaving the show. I admire people who take the effort to do something meaningful... not only for themselves but also to help others. Letting go of a healthy paycheck to do something that you believe in takes conviction. Too bad they killed off the character. Had it been something else, like moving to another hospital, there could still be hope to see him in action again.

p/s: I was tickled when the Fox website put up an obituary and noted that Dr Lawrence Kutner was born in 1975. Yeay!! But the screenwriters obviously is poor in maths coz in the episode Foreman said that Kutner is 28 when he called the paramedics. Although, I don't mind being 28 ;)