awesomeness!!

This is quite likely my last entry from Malaysia. Hopefully I'll get to hook up somewhere while on the trip... using my new Acer Aspire One Netbook of course :) It is so cute and I'm lovin' it!

I'm supposed to be packing our bags, but got side tracked. All thanks to the latest episode of House MD which I think is absolutely wicked! Evil House... Pimp House... Funny House... Juggling House... "Opps!" House (the scene with the dead guy is my favourite)... "Damn! I'm screwed" House. This episode had an interesting case, interesting ways to trying to solve the medical mystery, interesting character development, a peek into the subconcious and oh! how can I forget... Dancing House! HAHAHA! and half naked Wilson :D

And I am VERY intrigued by the promo for the following episode, which unfortunately I have no idea how to access (well, if I get internet access maybe it would be possible).

Today we had a photo session for the gifts team (sempena 50th anniv the other day). I think it turned out quite well. Will post here once I get a copy.

It's late and I can't sleep... too many things swirling in my mind. Packing... House... OA... but I know that the moment I put my head on the pillow, I'll go ZZZZZZ

But for now... back to packing!!

allodoxaphobia...

Fear of opinions

Got ah such things?? Really?

4 more days to my holiday... yeehaa!! :)

words of wisdom...

Winning doesn't teach you anything. You win. End of story. But the losing and what you take from it - that's the interesting bit
~ Hugh Laurie

are we setting our priorities right?

I wrote to a friend who is in London recently, informing her that I feel guilty about going on holiday this month end when there's just a million things to do in the office, deadlines looming etc.

She then told me something that made me smile...
"Absolutely - you deserve your break so don't feel bad about it. It's funny how at the Bank you can sell 10 days of your leave, whereas at Deloitte you can buy up to 5 days of leave. It says a lot about what people think is important lol"

That very same night, another friend commented on FB...
"... is convinced that only people with 'no life' can do his job"

The world offer us so much... but how are we grabbing them?

I go to work around 8am every morning and rarely do I leave before 7pm. Usually I'll just wait until after maghrib. At least now the sun is out when I leave the house. There was a period when I was in office by 7:30am. Those days are long gone...

At least I'm still single. I don't have kids or husband to attend to. But for those who do... I can't imagine a more frustrating life. Don't get me wrong... There's nothing wrong with working hard... but I can't do it as my main purpose in life. We need to smell the roses along the way...

Life is too short to be wasted. The world is too beautiful not to be explored.

Somewhere along the way
I got caught up in the race
I kept spinning and turning
Lost myself, my hope, my faith

We're always wanting more than what we have
And what I've learned is all I really need are...

The simple things
That come without a price
The simple things
Like happiness joy and love in my life
I've seen it all from so many sides
And I hope you would agree
The best things in life
Are the simple things

Hey everybody don't get me wrong
You got to understand
Ambition and knowledge
Are the seeds of every woman and man

It's good to work... work hard and prosper
As long as you take time to find...

The simple things
That come without a price
The simple things
Like happiness joy and love in my life
I've seen it all from so many sides
And I hope you would agree
The best things in life
Are the simple things

This world moves so fast
Sometimes you got to slow down... down... down...
To find out what it's all about

We're always wanting more than what we have
And what I've learned is all I really need are...

The simple things
That come without a price
The simple things
Like happiness joy and love in my life
I've seen it all from so many sides
And I hope you would agree
The best things in life
Are the simple things

Having said all that, I have to go to work tomorrow :(

music for the soul...

One of the side benefits of watching House MD is that I'm treated to an excellent array of music. Some artists and tunes I'm familiar with, but mostly they are unknown to me.

The songs are beautiful and poignant. Fitting very well with the scene and emotions that the director tries to convey.

And from time to time, we are privileged with the musical talent of one Mr Hugh Laurie. I'm not going to heap praises on a man who has received so many from all four corners of the world. My words will not justify his talents. But one thing that I will share is my admiration for his involvement in Band from TV, which is a band whose members are stars from TV shows, who play for fun and donate their proceeds to their favourite charities. How cool is that?!?

There are many songs from the show that I really really like. John Mayer's Gravity, Ryan Adams' Desire, In the Deep by Bird York, Elvis Costello's rendition of Beautiful...

Treat yourself to some... you'll find the listing here, and just YouTube 'em
http://www.have-dog.com/house/

Have fun!!

my personality...

I did this test before... as part of our Leadership Development Programme. So that you'll be more aware of the kind of person that you are.

I'm a sucker for all these things. Dunno why... I enjoy doing 'em quiz, "tell about yourself" things on FB, etc. My way of opening up I guess? I'd like to think that it isn't because I'm that big of a nerd due to the "abnormal" liking to do tests. I guess I just like to know myself better.

So... I did the test online, following a link from a totally non-related website. The questions are totally different but the results the same. Well, one doesn't change one's personality overnight right? Otherwise I'd be worried... that I'm a Jekyll and Hyde :o

I am an INTJ - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging - person.

The description goes like this...

To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise -- and INTJs can have several -- they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know.

INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.

INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play, as INTJs can be unsparing of both themselves and the others on the project. Anyone considered to be "slacking," including superiors, will lose their respect -- and will generally be made aware of this; INTJs have also been known to take it upon themselves to implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers. On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice.

In the broadest terms, what INTJs "do" tends to be what they "know". Typical INTJ career choices are in the sciences and engineering, but they can be found wherever a combination of intellect and incisiveness are required (e.g., law, some areas of academia). INTJs can rise to management positions when they are willing to invest time in marketing their abilities as well as enhancing them, and (whether for the sake of ambition or the desire for privacy) many also find it useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality.

Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.

This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.

Probably the strongest INTJ assets in the interpersonal area are their intuitive abilities and their willingness to "work at" a relationship. Although as Ts they do not always have the kind of natural empathy that many Fs do, the Intuitive function can often act as a good substitute by synthesizing the probable meanings behind such things as tone of voice, turn of phrase, and facial expression. This ability can then be honed and directed by consistent, repeated efforts to understand and support those they care about, and those relationships which ultimately do become established with an INTJ tend to be characterized by their robustness, stability, and good communications.

Hmm... relationships is my archilles heel? No wonder...
I've been told before that I have an "air of arrogance" or as the Malays say it "sombong". That's something that I have never come to grips with. But then I guess it's how I carry myself... and in the process, unintentionally leading others to think that way.
I agree... I am somewhat a perfectionist, but I'm increasingly finding myself being a slacker, instead of disliking one. Can ah?
Someone once told me that I'm different because I willingly admit that I don't know things. Yah maa... why bother pretending when you really don't know? But then I guess, not everyone thinks that way.
Do I really cakap tak bertapis (say my mind without concern about others)? Geez... I'm sorry if I had hurt feelings along the way.


Another description...

Rational Portrait of the Mastermind (INTJ)
All Rationals are good at planning operations, but Masterminds are head and shoulders above all the rest in contingency planning. Complex operations involve many steps or stages, one following another in a necessary progression, and Masterminds are naturally able to grasp how each one leads to the next, and to prepare alternatives for difficulties that are likely to arise any step of the way. Trying to anticipate every contingency, Masterminds never set off on their current project without a Plan A firmly in mind, but they are always prepared to switch to Plan B or C or D if need be.

Masterminds are rare, comprising no more than, say, one percent of the population, and they are rarely encountered outside their office, factory, school, or laboratory. Although they are highly capable leaders, Masterminds are not at all eager to take command, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead. Once they take charge, however, they are thoroughgoing pragmatists. Masterminds are certain that efficiency is indispensable in a well-run organization, and if they encounter inefficiency-any waste of human and material resources-they are quick to realign operations and reassign personnel. Masterminds do not feel bound by established rules and procedures, and traditional authority does not impress them, nor do slogans or catchwords. Only ideas that make sense to them are adopted; those that don't, aren't, no matter who thought of them. Remember, their aim is always maximum efficiency.
In their careers, Masterminds usually rise to positions of responsibility, for they work long and hard and are dedicated in their pursuit of goals, sparing neither their own time and effort nor that of their colleagues and employees. Problem-solving is highly stimulating to Masterminds, who love responding to tangled systems that require careful sorting out. Ordinarily, they verbalize the positive and avoid comments of a negative nature; they are more interested in moving an organization forward than dwelling on mistakes of the past.

Masterminds tend to be much more definite and self-confident than other Rationals, having usually developed a very strong will. Decisions come easily to them; in fact, they can hardly rest until they have things settled and decided. But before they decide anything, they must do the research. Masterminds are highly theoretical, but they insist on looking at all available data before they embrace an idea, and they are suspicious of any statement that is based on shoddy research, or that is not checked against reality.

The Mastermind (INTJ) is very focused as well, but more on an internal vision. They are good at solving problems and like to work on tough intellectual puzzles. They are often led into technical positions such as scientific researcher, design engineer, environmental planner. The developing field of genetics benefits from their intensity as does the field of medicine. In education they are most often found at the college and university level. In the professions, they may be a lawyer, a business analyst, or strategic planner. Some have a strong artistic/creative bent and may become an artist, inventor, or designer. Whatever they do, they do it with intensity.

No wonder lah I enjoy doing strategic planning, research type of work... and why I'm easily obsessed when it comes to an interest. But by and large, it does seem like I'm in the wrong profession. Should have been a computer programmer, engineer or doing something involving science and research.
I don't feel bound by rules, traditional authority... yup, that sounds quite right.
And yes... I much prefer being in the background, thank you very much!
I don't think I'm that efficient actually. In fact, I'm quite a slob workwise. And decisions don't come that easily... especially if I don't have the background info, understanding etc. I think too much.
I wish I could say that I look forward instead of dwelling in the past. Some truth in that but I seem to be stuck when it comes to relationship matters. Hmph!

to be spoilt or not to be spoilt... that is the question

I shamefully admit that I have low will power. And because I also have obsessive compulsive disorder (albeit a mild version of it, hehe), I have a tendency to do *research* on things that I find intriguing, sometimes a bit too much.

So me liking House MD has led me to buying DVD of past seasons (am watching a season 1 episode as I'm writing this) and scouring the internet for news regarding the show. You know how drug addicts are always seeking to get high and want to have more and more drugs. I'm like that... always wanting to know more. Spoilers be damned... my curiosity gets the best of me. I was very interested, in particular, to know of how *something* is developing. However, in the process, other pieces of information also come to fore. Usually, they don't bother me. In fact, they make me look forward to the next episodes (which thanks to NCA, I get to watch 2 days after they are aired in the US). One news about a plot was revealed sometime back and the fans have been actively speculating. I have an interest since the plot can involve the *something* that I am interested in. Still... it was not something that I'm affected by.

However, yesterday... as I was doing my regular *check ups* (House... doctors... check ups... haha), a BIG spoiler was revealed. Actually, it's not really a spoiler if you're in the US and have watched the show that was aired the evening before. But for me, who has to wait for 2 days, it is a spoiler. And this time, it really spoilt the suspense. Having known what I know, I wish that I was did not come across that information. Discovering it on my own would have been much more satisfying and intriguing. This is what Malays say "habis stim".

Had I not known the outcome, it would have been a more suspenseful and grabbing episode. The information robbed me of that excitement and adrenalin. That's when I realise why spoilers are called such... they spoil what would otherwise be an experience, a sensation, an emotion... and that I should have exercised more restraint.

I remember several years back when I was totally unspoilt for the X-Files (in fact, I had been missing several episodes) when it was revealed that Scully was pregnant. I can still remember the feeling... "Whoa.. what?!?" It was so gripping. I think that night I had very little sleep because I needed to know what had happened, what clues did I miss along the way, what had led to that. It was frustrating at first of course, because I was caught off guard, but the experience was exhilirating.

I wish I had had that with House.

But then again, had I not known, I would have ended up feeling more intrigued and would have spent hours looking for the reasons etc. Not good when it I have to wake up the next day to go to work.

Just like reading a book... the desire to know what happens next is so overwhelming but you know that if you read the ending, it will spoil the experience. Somehow, I manage to exercise greater control with books.

I think this is the major-est spoiler for House this season. Sure... I don't know how the screenwriters and producers are going to take the storyline. But I doubt it's going to be this big. But regret is also something that I'm feeling, thus the dilemma on whether or not to continue to be spoilt or to stop from this point forward so that I can enjoy the show the way it was created and designed to be. I haven't decided.

One thing I do know, is that while I'm travelling early next month, I would not know how the final 2 episodes for the season is going to turn out. And that I'll have to wait until I'm back on Malaysian soil to know what happens and whether the *something* that I'm following is going to happen.

It's a paradox... I am so curious and yet I like to be surprised. And the two aren't mutually exclusive.

On a related note... I had posted on Facebook "I had spoilt myself on the outcome of a much favoured TV show... now I am sad... because that was a character that I really liked". That was ambiguous enough wasn't it? My statement would not have spoilt anyone, unless if the person has been naughtily succumbing to some spoilers themselves. But, got lah this one friend, who out-ed the info and in the process spoilt another friend who didn't want to know. So am I guilty? I think not... because I had exercise extra care to make sure that my statement didn't connote anything. Not my bad... but to the spoilt person, so sorry.

So let's take this theme on a broader level. Would you want to be spoilt on important things in life? eg If a friend told you that your boyfriend is about to propose to you... would you have liked that? Or would you rather experience the whole thing first hand. And how would you react to the said boyfriend when he pops the question? Would you act like you don't know? I know I'm not a good actress and therefore the euphoria would be difficult to replicate.

What other things would you not want to know about upfront? Would I prefer to be surprised or not be caught off guard? I guess it depends on what it is...

But meanwhile [BEWARE: House spoiler ahead...]



I am mourning that Kutner is dead. He's my favourite duckling... funny, smart, dorky, unconventional, fun, and he's a Harry Potter fan! I had just shared with NCA last week that I liked Kutner... even more than Chase, Cameron and Foreman. And this week he's gone.

On a happier note, I couldn't have been more impressed with Kal Penn and his reasons for leaving the show. I admire people who take the effort to do something meaningful... not only for themselves but also to help others. Letting go of a healthy paycheck to do something that you believe in takes conviction. Too bad they killed off the character. Had it been something else, like moving to another hospital, there could still be hope to see him in action again.

p/s: I was tickled when the Fox website put up an obituary and noted that Dr Lawrence Kutner was born in 1975. Yeay!! But the screenwriters obviously is poor in maths coz in the episode Foreman said that Kutner is 28 when he called the paramedics. Although, I don't mind being 28 ;)

need more weekends like this...

Woke up early on Saturday (well... early by my standards, hehe) to go pick up Lina, the urut lady. Mama needs a massage for her kaki troubles. So I decided to tumpang sekali and treat myself to a scrub and massage too. Having her over to the house is quite convenient... hmm, maybe I shld organise a girls' weekend of relaxation one of these days.

While waiting for my turn, I did 3 loads of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen and read. I've been indulging in some fun reading off late. Something very fluffy and related to an obsession.

3 hours... that's how long my massage and scrubbing was. It was NICE... to say the least.

Skinner and Mymot came by later in the evening. Went out for dinner at Hartamas Square. I was famished! Having eaten some bread and eggs in the morning je the whole day. So melantak dim sum and kuey teow beef ginger. I either must have been super hungry or the food was really good coz I cleaned everything up, haha.

On Sunday, I overslept. Was supposed to be in Bukit Raja by 9am but woke up at that hour instead, when Papa knocked on the door (yes dearies... my bed is like a drug that keeps saying "kejap lagi... tidur lagi", hehe). When I arrived, most ppl were already there. We had a mini reunion, TKC 92, at Sabine's. Met the regular faces and Joy whom I've not met in 17 year! Seri is back from Spain. Diane came with her kids (the last time I saw her was when she was pregnant with her first). Let me see if I've got everyone... Seri, Fazlin, Mommeh, Diane, Azmah, Mymot, Skinner, Sabine, Normy, Yanie, Mario, Zaini, Joy, Peah, Iday, Mynn, Aimy, Lin. Next time we have a reunion, I'm gonna get a photographer to snap photos of us with our antics! [p/s: thanks for the big hug Mario! :D]


Watched F1 in the evening... the most bizarre race I've watched I must say. The Malaysian torrential rain created havoc on the race, and made worse by the later than usual race start time. I'm happy that Brawn won again. It was a great race - while it lasted - with more overtaking than ever. I'm so liking having the "big boys" at the back and the rest of the minions in front. The effects of cars with and without KERS. I still can't believe that Ferrari was that stupid to send Kimi out on wet weather tyres when the circuit was bone dry. His remarks to the pit later when it did finally rain "my tyres are destroyed" was like stating the obvious... DUH! And listening to Massa's frantic, desperate call for clear visor... his panicky voice vs the team trying to calm him down. With the race red flagged at the 31st lap and not continued, the winners were decided on the penultimate lap before it was stopped and since they did less than 75% of the total race laps, the point scoring drivers will only get half of the alloted points. So we'll have the likes of Rosberg, Trulli, Webber with half points to their name. This season is setting up to be an interesting one...

shame on you!

After many, many years of allegiance, and supporting them through thick and thin... when they were at their lowest, despite others mocking me, I am from today onwards no longer a supporter of McLaren Mercedes.

How could they lie (and if according to Alonso, this isn't the first time) so blatantly, and that cocky, perasan bagus driver who was the champion driver last year (his name shall not grace this site)... the heat getting to you? Couldn't stand the fact that you're not really that good and having an inferior car is making you take desperate measures?

There is no longer integrity in the team... unlike the days of Mika. The Ferrari-gate 2 years ago was painful enough. I stuck through it, but this time it's too much. That's what happens when individual's ego takes over team spirit. When you support one driver at the expense of the other, alienating them when all he wanted was fair play...

I'm glad that both Kimi and Alonso are no longer with them. And Coulthard too. They must be saying "hmmm... padan muka"

A true champion need not resort to such measures, because they know that being the best isn't at the price of one's integrity.

I only recently start wearing red, in defiance of Schumacher's Ferrari. Now even he looks decent (I can't believe I actually feel that way!). So now, sadly, my McLaren t-shirts shall remain on the hanger... until the time when I no longer feel ashamed.

14 years I supported them... I feel so cheated (no pun intended).