have you watched them sleep?

Article written by Shakuntala Devi

I received a message on my Friendster account the other day. It was one of those forwarded messages, the type I would usually scan briefly before hitting "delete".

But this message, written in Bahasa Malaysia, started with a simple question that caught my attention A rough translation of it goes like this:

"Have you ever watched your parents as they are asleep? Your father's body once big and strong but now, the big is withered and the strong weakened. Wisps of grey peek out of his hair, wrinkles now "scar" on his forehead and face."

"This man works hard every day and would sacrifice anything to make sure his family is provided for and his children get the best education possible."

"Or what about your mother, whose soft hands once cuddled and held you close when you were a baby? Now, those hands are dry and rough, bearing evidence of the challenges she faced just for us."

"This woman takes care of our daily needs, constantly nagging and scolding us because of her love for us. But sadly, we often miscontrue her love as control and unfairness."

I have never thought of watching my parents while they slept. I've watched my cousins sleep when they were babies, all round and cuddly and sweet smelling. But watch my parents? No way!

But after reading this message, I realised that there is indeed much truth in it. In fact, my parents don't have to be asleep for me to realise that they have aged.

Just looking at my mother walk tells me that her legs are not as strong as they were before. Or hearing for her to ask me to help with that flowerpot in the garden, the one she used to be able to push and drag around the garden without my help.

Or watching my dad lift a 10kg bag of rice. I can easily carry that now. I am young. But to him, it is a struggle.

What do all these observations tell me? Yes, my parents have aged. They are ageing, as I am ageing. But as I age towards my best years and become stronger, they in turn are becoming weaker. They were once the caregiver and I the receiver. In time, I know our roles will reverse. Like it or not, want it or not, this is life.

I suppose I have always subconciously thought that my parents would always be with me, never growing old. It took that message to make me realise that my parents are not immortal. That they, too, will one day leave the world and me. Until then, I will make good use of our time together.

By the way, I am forwarding that message to all my family and friends to remind them to appreciate what they have now. It will not last.

Reading this, I terus sebak. This message hits home... HARD. It is as if it was written and directed to me.

Just the other day, while the three of us were driving home after a nice meal, Papa driving, Mama sitting in front and me at the back. Papa said "This is macam masa Along kecik dulu2. You sitting at the back... tanya, dah kat mana ni? You'd be lying down". Mama added, "...melengkor." We all laughed. I remember that time well. The drives balik kampung at a time when there were no highways and the journeys long. Listening to Abba, Bee Gees. Fast forward 28 years later. The scene familiar.

God works mysteriously and wonderfully. Reminders are sent our way when He knows that we should be reminded. I've long taken granted of the persons that mean most. I have not been treating them as well as they deserve. I'm ridden with guilt...

Thank God I still have them with me... time to make amends...