shameless plug...

I know, I know... I'm being a little self indulgent, but I want you to go visit my travel page. Have uploaded more photos of Scotland... they're so beautiful!!

No... bukan bermaksud nak kata I take great photos, but with gorgeous natural surroundings like that, you can't go wrong. I tekan je camera tu ;) And some were taken by Marni and Skinner... so all credits to them. With sceneries as breathtaking as that, they should be shared.

I LOOOOOOVED Scotland!

Save your money and go visit one day!

p/s: I've somewhat managed to attract some attention to that site... various ppl leaving comments saying that they liked the photos :) That's a positive sign... hopefully I'll get to snap nicer photos with the new lense and SLR camera.

the makan edition ;)

Has been a while since I posted photos of restaurants/food...

Since DZ is back in town, it won't be *harmful* for her. Darling... if you want to pig out, you know how to contact me, hehe...

#1 A place in The Gardens Midvalley... can't remember the name. Went out for lunch with Peah. Food cantik, taste so-so


I had Turkey Panini and Iced Coffee. Rating: 5

#2 Chef & Brew in Damansara Heights. No photos of the food, though. Farewell dinner for HA... our meal included a chocolate durian cake!


Don't remember what I had... but the company was great :)

#3 Our family's usual haunt... Chilli's at BSC


Food at Chilli's is always reliable. Rating: 8

#4 Suchan for dessert... with Mama on one fine weekend


Despite all the hype, I found it rather disappointing. Still good, but not that great. We had tiramisu and choc cake. Rating: 6.5

#5 Delicious @ Bangsar Village with Amt some weekends ago. We were both craving for the iced chocolate, but ended up having much more than that ;)




We had iced choc (of course!), reubens sandwich (not as nice as the one in The Loaf), grilled chicken caesar salad, potato wedges with sour cream. Overall rating: 7.5

#6 Food Republic @ Pavillion with the Detox Chicks...


I had Beef Pho and Seafood Salad... from the Vietnamese stall. Rating: 7

#7 Lunch with Linda @ Souled Out ... also celebrated Ana's birthday


Food here is always reliable. I had Cajun Grilled Chicken (i think), which was very nice. Rating: 8

#8 Ayam Kampung Cheras with office buds... no pix of the food, just the eaters, haha



Despite the simple setting, this place is always crowded. Testament to the kesedapan. We had the usual ayam kampung goreng, gulai daging tetel, lemak nangka, goreng pucuk paku, ulam, sambal, sambal ikan bilis & kacang... sehingga menjilat jari! Rating: 8
Note: Boss with DBB1, ABB, MO can also be seen enjoying the food in the background. Luckily we arrived after them, if not kantoi for leaving early for lunch, haha...

#9 Old Town Kopitiam @ Lowyat Plaza. Penat looking for lense, lepak here dulu...



I'm hooked to the white coffee... of all the kopitiams, they serve the best. Also shared french toast and curry mee with Amt. Rating: 7. But for the white coffee: 9.5!! (the best coffee ever is still the one I had in a small deli not far from the Vatican City in Rome)

And finally... #10 My latest discovery, Darabif @ Desa Hartamas (my fren just opened the shop last Tuesday). Yummy thick burgers... I went for seconds!



Very filling, tebal, simple... their various dips were nice too. Had the curry mayo & walnut corn. Sedap! Rating: 8

just another weekend?

There are some projects that I need to get done before I leave for my holidays (woohoo!!) in less than 3 weeks' time. 2 can be done today, 1 require more mulling and deep thoughts.

Had informed MM that I might (note: operative word is "might", hehe) drop by to see her in action during the inter DBB games today. They're playing volleyball. Talking abt inter DBB games, our dear DBB#3 had the *bright* idea to get all senior officers involved in the games, one way or another. Hence, all (well, almost all) of us yg biasanya tak main because we're all kaki bangku, end up being team manager. And guess which team am I manager for? Women's hockey.

Was this a boss's way of *paying back* to me for abandoning him? haha... I don't think so lar, but moi... hockey? They must have had something funny to eat/drink when they made the decision. Luckily my male counterpart is non-other than towkeh rumah urut qiu-qiu... Mr MZ himself. Nasib baik lah dulu dia memang main hockey kat koleq... so I'm saved! I mean, I don't even know the rules... berapa orang each side? How long is each half? What are the positions? Habis lar... But it's ok. Anything for a good cause :)

Talking about good cause, last Tuesday I was a step closer towards realising a dream of giving back to society. Organised an Outreach Experience Sharing Session dgn warga2 organisation yang berhati mulia dan ingin menyumbang ke arah benefit of all. At first, there was a bit of concern... that not many people would turn up, especially since only abt 20 ppl responded to the online "are you coming or not?" survey. In the end, almost 60 ppl (not including committee members of course) were there and we had a swell of a discussion. A lot of people were clearly excited about buat kerja2 amal... some were so excited and wanted to get involved immediately.

Suffice to say... I'm HAPPY 8-)

Now kena keep up the momentum and get things moving...

Since the announcement, each day becomes more and more precious to me. Today is 12 April. Which means only 13 more days with FSD. I wish it was longer... I wish I could bottle up the hours and the days... but that's not possible.

I know I'm going to miss them big time... some more, and they may not even know it! Even now, while I'm still there, I'm already missing them. Yesterday I made a request to CHP, our club president... "Can I be an honorary member?"

Some time back I did feel *lost*. I didn't feel like I was living up to my full potential... I knew my weak points, boss had given some words of advice and encouragement, I wanted to do better, be better... but let's face the facts. It isn't really something that I'm overly excited about. I've always been someone who needs to *feel it* within...

Then things did get better... better communication, more exchanges, people are starting to get into the groove... The light at the end of the tunnel was emerging...

Then one day, someone approached me about a *possibility*. I thought about it hard. Here I was... beginning to feel *excited* again, and yet there's also a part of me which is still in doubt. Should I or shouldn't I? It was tough...

I made the decision to go for it... and that's when the wheels started to turn...

After that, I didn't think or talk about it... partly because I was consumed with work, and I suppose there was a part of me that wanted to hold on to the present arrangements, that didn't want the change to take place. I was beginning to really like it... that I could do this.

Then fate intervened... it became a matter of where rather than whether. Given the circumstances, I'd rather have the ability to choose, than being told. And as I discussed the matter with boss... *staying is no longer an option*. I fully understand that... he can't take the chance, he has done what he had to do given my request... it wouldn't be fair to him.

What's ironic is that things really got a lot deal better AFTER I *moved the wheels*. The people, the work, the excitement... Hence the sadness...

Alas the wheels have turned... no turning back. It wouldn't be right to so many people.

One has to live with one's decision... no matter how hard it may be...

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay awhile, make footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same
--Anonymous

under the weather...

*cough* *cough* *cough*

I'm falling sick :(

the cat is out of the bag...

The truth has finally sank in... I was told of the date some time back, but today I received the written confirmation. It felt surreal. Though I was involved in the whole thing from day 1 and was instrumental in affecting the change, I still can't believe that it is actually happening.

Perasaan yang bercampur aduk...

Over the weekend during the team building, while observing the industrious FSD-ians setting up a flag pole, boss said to me "So you're going to miss all this...". All these while, it had been our secret... plus a few others. Only in the past 1 1/2 weeks had the whole thing became a wildly spread rumour... courtesy of a *request* by certain individual. That didn't materialise, but the change was still taking place.
"Yes... am going to miss them all" I replied. And that's the honest truth. My decision had nothing to do with them... it was entirely due to me and how I felt. Boss had been understanding and supportive... despite my suspicion that it is not quite what he had in mind.
"Are you ok with me going?" I asked him... to which he didn't provide a reply and just sighed while keeping his eyes focused on the team who was struggling to put up the pole. I had asked him the same question about a month ago... and til today, I've not found a clear answer.
"Is it really alright with you?" I pressed on... to which he just extended an even louder and longer hmmm. From his non committant reply, I sensed that it was not a decision that he was entirely in support of. He had never said no... and I had indicated to him early on that I would only make the move if he can find a pengganti. But him being him, he wouldn't have stopped it... despite the issues that he may face. "Kalau dah nama tu sentiasa dibibir orang... susah... it is beyond one's control" he added on.

How ironic it was... one of the main reason that I had wanted the change was to be able to rise again and yet the *gangguan* was due mainly to people having me in their minds. Sangat perplexing...

The whole exchange made me feel ridden with guilt... but then again, it was still a *go*... it was just a question of *where to*.

Today while waiting for a meeting, boss said to me "So your memo dah keluar... I need to tell the rest of the department". Earlier I had received the written transfer confirmation which noted that it will be effected on 2 May 2008.
"When do you plan to do it? I asked.
"Today lah... before I balik. Around 6 o'clock"
"Would you mind if I tell the section first? Would like to inform them in person", I requested.
He agreed and so I gathered my people in my room to break the news.

The response I received was totally unexpected. Some of them said that they had heard of the rumour... news of someone new coming in, me moving. I had not expected that they would react the way they did. The whole process tugged my heart...
I came clean... explained that it was initiated by me, with some gangguan along the way... that in a way, the move was inevitable. Clarified the motivation and assured them that it had nothing to do with them or the people around. It was just something that I had to do for myself. Seeing their faces made me feel worse...
I assured them that while I won't be physically here, I would still be around. Just a phonecall, email, sametime away... that I'll always be available and that we'll continue to work together in a different way. Bukannya jauh sangat pun... about 30 steps away. But as they rightly pointed it out... it won't be the same. Talked on about my replacement... in explaining who he was, a laughter broke. Told them that I was confident that they'll be ok... that the new person would add a different dimension... that they'll continue to function well without me. I knew it sounded hallow, but as a leader, I needed to give that morale boost and assurance.

I had to go for a meeting at 5:30pm so when the email was sent out at 6:04pm, I was not in the office. I didn't return until well past 7pm and most people have already gone home.

The change was what I had asked for, but it was a hallow joy.

It wasn't until today that I realise how much I will miss them... what I'm letting go...

But it was a change that needs to take place... no matter how hard it may be...

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
- C. S. Lewis

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
- Carl Jung

FSD teambuilding...

Balbir emailed instructions regarding our weekend adventure earlier in the week... outlining what we would do, what to bring... even attached a photo of the location, Jungle Lodge... somewhere in Gombak.

The photo looked promising... set amidst lush tropical forest. A change from the concrete jungle that we're accustomed to. But when Balbir sent another email late Thursday afternoon, many of us became worried. It basically stated something along the lines of "we (the facility provider) will endeavour to keep the toilets clean up to basecamp standards".

"endeavour"... "basecamp standards"... those two phrases got many of us, ladies especially, spooked. We wished each other "see you at the jungle" (some with a grimace) as we left the office that evening. What we were getting ourselves into?

Early Friday morning, Dell picked me up at home. We've decided early on to drive to the site instead of taking the bus from office. We were to meet Chew @ Burger King somewhere on MRR2. After a breakfast of nasi lemak and nescafe, the three of us made our way to Jungle Lodge. The rest of the group, including those who took the bus, were already there... having breakfast.

The place was beautiful... set next to a stream, in a valley next to a virgin forest and Banjaran Titiwangsa. To get to the Lodge, we had to cross a wooden bridge. Gorgeous!

I brought some nasi lemak for the rest of the gang... still some time before the activities would kick into gear... and we were missing one member. Danny got lost and was still on the way. When he finally arrived, he received a big cheer ;p The ladies had checked out the dorm, and true enough, they were truly basic basecamp standards. Nonetheless, we were in high spirits... due to the fresh air I guess ;)

to be continued...